He's played everything from Shakespeare to a schizophrenic, but who's the mystery woman in his life? Joseph Fiennes reveals nearly everything to Antonia Blyth

"People always go on about my eyelashes", sighs Joseph Fiennes. "I don't get it, what's that about? I put so much work into my performance and that's it ­ eyelashes!"

It is rather hard to concentrate on what Fiennes is saying, when I can see a bit of smooth brown chest poking out of his shirt. And the brown eyes, too, are rather distracting, surrounded by said luscious long lashes. Fiennes looks and sounds much more youthful than his 36 years; his voice is that of a public-school sixth former, young, slightly fruity, delicious.

It's been a while since we've been treated to the many joys of Mr. Fiennes. After the success of Shakespeare in Love in 1998, Fiennes did not start churning out blockbusters. He went back to theatre before going off to explore India. "It wasn't like I was saying 'No more work, I'm off travelling!' But I did fall in love with the place," he says.

It's clear Fiennes didn't lose any of his passion for acting. From a prestigious family ­ there's his actor brother, Ralph, sisters, Martha (a director) and Sophie (a producer), second cousin Sir Ranulph, the famed explorer, his father, Mark Fiennes, the photographer, and his mother, the novelist, Jennifer Lash (who died in 1993) ­ it's no surprise that Fiennes is serious about his art.

And, he's really proved it this time by playing greasy, hairy malcontent Neil Bookman in Ryan Murphy's adaptation of Augusten Burrough's best-selling memoir, Running With Scissors. Bookman was a 35-year-old schizophrenic who had a relationship with the underage Burroughs.

"I did have some serious reservations about playing a paedophile", Fiennes says. "I had no problem, at all, playing a gay man. In fact, I'd played Edward II before, and he was gay. But I had to have a lot of discussions about this script before I could agree to it. There were sex scenes in the book that were really graphic and I was worried."

But, Fiennes saw the role as a challenge "to try and allow the audience to not be too harsh in their judgement of Neil. He's making bad mistakes, yes, but Augusten says that Neil was his first true love."

Fiennes tends to challenge the norm. In the past, this has been misconstrued as rudeness, but today Fiennes is charming, and past assessments of his character seem a world away.

"Sometimes, I snap at being told what to do", he admits. "it's little things, like as a pedestrian being told where and when to walk, it feels like a metaphor for being told what to do in life, so, sometimes, I jump the barriers. And, I hate piped music, especially in restaurants. It's like they think they have to create an atmosphere for you, that you're not capable of yourself."

With seven siblings in his childhood house, it is no wonder that Fiennes is so adept at making his voice heard. Did he draw on his own experience for this film about a crazy, chaotic family? Fiennes laughs. "We were the Waltons compared to the Burroughs family! My childhood was pretty idyllic, but tough in some ways. Houses got too small, plus my parents moved around for work reasons. I went to 12 different schools and lived in 14 different houses. I'm slightly envious of people who grew up in one place and stayed there."

Despite his own hectic background, Fiennes's family is, he says, the most important thing. "I'd like as many children as I can have, but I'm not going to be bearing them, so there'd have to be an executive decision on that! The bigger the family, the better." So, got anyone lined up to bear the babies, yet?

"No news there, let's keep 'em guessing!" he says, but adds that his ideal woman will have, "a certain confidence... that and humour, dignity, integrity."

Fiennes had dated his fair share of beautiful women, including actresses Catherine McCormack (Braveheart), Sara Griffiths (Holby City, The Bill), and Natalie Mendoza (Moulin Rouge).

He admits that maintaining a relationship is hard because of the months away. "Thank God for my Blackberry and the Internet," he says. And, in his non-Hollywood fashion, adds that, "It's not like I'm mining for oil off the North sea, or locked in a laboratory finding cures for diseases, I'm working in entertainment."

Fiennes spends time off with old friends. "My best friends have known me for 15 years, since I was a dresser at the National Theatre," he says. "Seeing them is so important to me. I love road trips, rock climbing, surfing ­ anything that gets me away from the industry for a break."

Next up, Fiennes is filming The Red Baron, playing a Canadian pilot in World War I. Then there is the title role in the upcoming Antonio Vivaldi, where he'll be back in period costume and drawing the crowds of smitten admirers.

As I'm getting in the hotel lift to leave, suddenly Fiennes jumps in, too, alongside an extraordinary brunette. "Do you need to get something from the room?", he asks her. Possibly a girlfriend, then. Looks like we may have to stick to admiring those eyelashes from afar.

Running With Scissors is released on January 19th.